Thursday, July 16, 2009

Favorite Funny Tweets

I recently joined Twitter and these are a few"tweets" that I think are absolutely hillarious:

There's a crazy homeless man in the mall parking lot directing cars. Into each other. Damn, I wish I thought of it first.
- myr

Morning [mawr-ning]: The part of the day where ones brain argues with its body over whether or not sleep is better than paychecks.
- myr

You know what I miss? Deadlines. - The Incredulous Mr. G

My brain is bad. This is why I can't have nice thinks.
- Josh Donoghue

I often work harder doing pretend work at work than doing the actual work work at work. If I could only harness this pretend ambition.
- Josh Donoghue

It's not the most conventional way to start a wedding toast, but these six simple words demand attention: "You know what your problem is?"
- Paul Kafasis

When you start laughing at jokes your desk is telling, you should just admit defeat & go back to bed. I mean the jokes aren't even *funny*.
- Justine Kilkerr

Percentage of time I wear headphones to listen to music: 4%. Percentage of time I wear headphones to practice misanthropy: 96%.
- Jason Sweeney

No comments:

Post a Comment